This leads me to my ultimate question:

Does “Going  Social” mean you have to broadcast every aspect of your life to the internet? Does it mean that you have to twitter or update every time you eat lunch, buy an mp3, or take a walk?

No! In fact, most people tend to be annoyed by these types of updates. Unless you’re a celebrity (the Hollywood kind), people really aren’t that interested in whether you’re talking your dog for a walk, eating dinner, or boarding a flight to Los Angeles airport. Updating, also known as lifestreaming, has becoming an integral part of social media. In actuality, most people aren’t looking for your life’s details, they’re looking for advice, a confidant, or simply a new friend they can meet for latte’s the next time they happen to be in your locale.

Being social really means  putting yourself out there. You should be in it to make friends first, and make business last. Social media users are getting smarter and smarter to even the softest marketing tactics, and they have voiced many times over that they want friends, not robots, sale posts, and business icons on their social sites.

If you don’t think people care much about “updates”, just look at Facebook’s controversial new homepage layout. It’s a lot like Twitter, right? Over the past few years, Myspace, Facebook, LinkedIn, and other prominent social media sites have integrated the “update” function into their layout. They have access to all of the stats that likely show how much users like this feature… especially if it’s now being utilized across all major social media websites.

And remember, “What Are You Doing” doesn’t only mean “what are you doing”.

It can mean:

• What advice do you have for your network today?
• What important lesson did you learn today?
• Did anything funny happen today?
• Is anyone in my area who wants to meet for lunch or coffee?
• I’m at a convention… anyone else here who wants to meet?
• How are you feeling, and why?
• Come across any good articles or funny photos you’d like to share?
• Ready to offer a helping hand to someone who perhaps need a Digg, Stumble, or other prop?
• Who can I help today? Let’s chat!
• What do you guys think of this product? I’m thinking of getting one…

Updates are so much more than trivial details. They are making friends, helping others, and a great opportunity to add value.

What is your favorite way to utilize site updates?

We’ve got sites like LinkedIn, which really helps break the ice when it comes to meeting new people in our industry, or perhaps an industry that we’re trying to break into. However, with so many new technologies making it so simple to have these contacts at our disposal, we often start collecting and hoarding contacts, followers, fans, and prospects like nobody’s businesses… simply because we can.  To break this habit of going through the motions, simply adding contacts because they “look” interesting. Take it a step further, and make it a goal to create long lasting business relationships with the people you are adding to your social networks….online and offline.

7  Steps to Creating Long Lasting Business Relationships

1. Be Sincere: There’s nothing more annoying than meeting a new business contact who doesn’t say what they mean. If you’re wanting to connect with someone because you admire them, tell them so! If you’re wanting to connect because you are looking to break into the industry, tell them so as well! Chances are, you’ll end up gaining a mentor, because most experienced business people are generally willing to answer questions and help out. Be sincere and honest about your intentions. If you live in their area, and are simply wanting to connect with other business professionals for the sake of having someone to relate to, then tell them. Business owners are really in a league of their own, so most will understand your need to relate.
2. Don’t Implement “Automatic Networking” tactics: There was a debate a while back on Twitter about automatic responses. Many people have implemented automatic DM’s (Direct Messages) to be sent to their new followers basically saying “thank you” or “hey, check out my site”. This is highly discouraged for those looking to create personalized business relationships. Would you walk into a conference and say the exact same thing to everyone you met?  Probably not! Generally, each person likes to be greeted personally… with a personalized comment.  Your automatic email responses and twitter responses are not going to get you the results you are looking for when building solid business relationships…especially if your direct response is “Hey, go to my site (and buy this!)”…. or “hey, look at my blog”.  Take the time to greet everyone personally. (if you can’t, take a few minutes every day to at least personally respond to a few additions within your contacts). It tells them that they were worth your time, and that their friendship is important to you.  Remember, they can probably figure out how to get to your blog if they’ve found you on Twitter.  You won’t lose out, trust me.
3. Take Initiative: Often times, you’ll see people with a network of 500 or more on LinkedIn, and you start to wonder how they manage all of those contacts. Realistically most people have never met more than at least 100 of their contacts, and have likely not spoken to at least half of them over the phone. Building real relationships means showing that person that you are genuinely wanting to conect with them… not just by having them as a “friend” on your giant list of “friends” within your myspace, facebook, or linkedin accounts. Take initiative and send at least 5 of your contacts an email everyday. Set up phone calls to connect and chat. Do a local search… do you live near any of your contacts? Invite them to chat over coffee! Start a local group for yourself and your  new found contacts. The possibilities are endless.
4. Tear Down Those ‘ Walls’: It’s not all about business with business relationships. Generally, you have far more in common with your business connections than you may realize. Or perhaps you have no business aspects in common, but you love the same kind of music, or are passionate about trying new wines. Bring a your personality to the forefront of your online and offline conversations. I love talking to other business owners who have a passion. (even when it’s for things I am not familiar with). It gives me the opportunity to learn from them about why they love what they love.  Ask about their favorite kind of music, remember their birthday, favorite restaurants, foods, art, and so on. Use these as opportunities to open other means of communication. If you’re attending a new restaurant along the same lines as your colleagues favorite food, invite him and his wife along! Remember, use this method in moderation, otherwise you may come off as nosey, creepy, or even a stalker.
5. Be Generous: Have a new friend who just started his blog? Give him a shout out on your Twitter and introduce him to your giant network! Note one of his better blog posts! Getting a colleague to remember you is easy when you know how to be generous. I’m not saying to go out and buy them gifts or expensive items.  It’s really the little things that count, because to someone who needs help, these small deeds don’t seem so little at the time. Is your good friend a word-class chef? Go to his local Yahoo/Google pages and give him good reviews! Give him good reviews on his social sites as well.  Happen to be a web designer? Help out your new contact with his new site. Even just a few pointers to get him in the right direction helps! The best way to make friends is to be selfless. When you see someone struggling, cheer them up and help them remember their passion, and why they WILL succeed. Everyone needs cheerleaders. Especially business owners.
6. Don’t Sell: This is a given, but I had to include it. Don’t ever try to sell yourself to your business relationships at any point. They know what you do for a living, they know what services you offer, and they know how to contact you if they need them. You’re there to be a friend, as are they. You are there to mutually benefit each other. If you’ve agreed to refer others to each other, then that’s great, but be sure to keep this process professional and clean of self-selling.
7. Create Weekly/Monthly Contact Habits: If you’re like most business owners, professionals, or entrepreneurs, your week is probably already jam-packed with work, meetings, calls, and emails. However, taking time out to network is imperative to building your business relationships. Make it a point to set aside time at least once a month to go over your new contacts and connect with them on a higher level. Whether it be making a phone call, sending a friendly email, or inviting them to chat over coffee at your local Starbucks or Coffee Bean. Is it someones birthday? Send them a card and something else creative and memorable. Putting thought into the little things really makes an impact down the road.

The benefits of creating long lasting business relationships far outweight the time it takes to nuture them. Be sure to always be honest, and treat others as you would want to be treated. If you’re having trouble approaching people, just ask yourself how you’d like to be approached in that particular situation. You’re not making making relationships purely for your success, but to genuinely build meaningly friendships.

***  What are some of your favorite ways to really connect with your business contacts and colleagues?